


do you think you can carry me (over and over again until oblivion)

by thefigureinthecorner



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Emetophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, it's in a nightmare, not descriptive though just mentioned, the character death warning is temporary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21520762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefigureinthecorner/pseuds/thefigureinthecorner
Summary: After November, Caleb has nightmares.Adam helps by existing.Or: post-safe house nightmare fic, featuring late-night phone calls.Title is from Oblivions by The National.
Relationships: Adam Hayes/Caleb Michaels
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	do you think you can carry me (over and over again until oblivion)

He dreams of Damien.

Or, he dreams of Damien _at first._

He dreams of the swirl of fear and pain, of bones _snap crackle popping_ like a goddamn rice krispie, of blood and anger and fear and _anger,_ of hands pulling him back and of ripping himself away from them, of continuing on and on and on until the anger ebbs enough and is completely replaced by _fear fear fear._

Fear and pain.

And when the anger clears and he can think for himself again, he sees Damien. He sees Damien lying in a pool of blood, blood that’s steadily seeping into the safe house’s cream-colored carpet, dark and red and faintly metallic-smelling.

He blinks and Damien is replaced by Adam.

The gashes and bruises marring Damien’s face are on Adam’s now. It’s _his_ nose that’s crooked, _his_ jaw that’s misaligned and mottled by burst blood vessels, _his_ blood on Caleb’s hands. But the image of Adam lying broken is somehow not the worst part.

The worst part is his _eyes._

His eyes are still open, but there’s nothing behind them. Not that ever-present tired sadness, or that spark of passionate, joyful intelligence he gets when he’s talking about Shakespeare or the new album that his favorite band just released or some new cool thing he just learned about in his science class; not the deep warmth of the love that Caleb can see in his eyes whenever they look at each other; none of the endless minutiae that make up _Adam._

Nothing.

Adam is _gone._

And it’s Caleb’s fault.

Caleb wakes up in a cold sweat and immediately makes a mad dash for the bathroom to throw up.

He counts himself lucky, as he’s rinsing his mouth out in the sink, that nobody seems to have been woken up by the sound; he can’t feel anyone else’s emotions grow stronger. He’s glad. The last thing he needs right now is to feel anyone’s emotions, least of all the ticking-time-bomb feeling that’s been rolling off his parents for weeks now, like they expect him to explode any moment.

Adam’s emotions would help. Barring that, Adam’s _voice_ would help. _Adam_ would help.

And then the fear starts to seep back in-- _was_ that a dream? Was Damien really the one Caleb hurt? Or was the _dream_ the real memory, was Adam dead, has everything since November just been a lie? Oh god, what if Adam _is_ dead?

He calls.

His relief at Adam picking up is quickly squashed by guilt at Adam’s groggy voice. He must have woken Adam up, and fuck, it’s 3am, this was a shitty time to call, but it’s too late now.

“Caleb?”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you up, I know we have school tomorrow, just go back to bed--”

“Caleb, wait, no, I’m up.” And he is-- he sounds way more alert now, and Caleb doesn’t need his ability to know how worried Adam is. The concern is practically dripping off his voice. “Are you alright? You sound... I don’t know, not good. You sound like-- wait, did you throw up?”

Damn. His voice must really be wrecked if Adam picked up on that.

“Uh, yeah, I just-- really bad nightmare. That’s all.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna… talk about it?”

Caleb absolutely does not. He doesn’t even want to _think_ about it. Doesn’t want to think about the sight of Adam, broken, bruised, _dead--_

“No! No, no, I uh. I _really_ don’t. I just… needed to hear your voice, I guess. Wanted to know you were okay.”

“Oh. Well, I am. Okay, I mean.” He pauses. “Wanna talk about something else then?”

“You should just go back to sleep, I’ll be fine.”

“Caleb, c’mon, stop worrying about me. I’m here for you, you know that, right?”

“...Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“So just tell me what you need and I’ll do it. I don’t think my parents would be too happy about me going over there at this time of night but I can just, like, rant at you about Shakespeare as a distraction if you want me to.”

And holy shit, Caleb feels lucky to have Adam. So many people would have run for the hills the second they saw the kind of destruction Caleb was capable of. Hell, most people would have run for the hills because of his ability, anger issues and violence aside. But Adam stayed. He stayed, and he isn’t afraid of Caleb, or mad at Caleb, or disgusted or hurt or _anything._ He’s still just as full of love as he was before. Sadder, maybe, but it’s still _love._

Adam didn’t leave. He’s here, on the phone after having been woken up at this god awful hour, doing his absolute best to make Caleb feel better. Calmer.

“I love you so much, you know?” It’s not an actual answer to Adam’s question, he knows, but he feels the words swell in his chest and he has to say them.

Adam doesn’t sound surprised when he answers.

“Love you too.”

He makes good on his promise to keep Caleb distracted, and they keep talking-- about Shakespeare, about school, about Adam’s whole conspiracy theory that Caitlin’s secretly atypical, about the merits of the oxford comma and favorite foods and the new season of some show Adam likes that he’s been trying to get Caleb into-- until both of them have fallen asleep to the sound of the other’s voice over the phone, voices dropping off drowsily into silence.

**Author's Note:**

> See, this started as a fic where Adam just straight-up died because of Damien, but I hated myself for writing that.
> 
> So I somehow made it simultaneously better and worse.


End file.
